The Gift of Failure

Franciscan Renewal Center. Paradise Valley, Arizona. November 2022.

Equanimity is what I hope for most of the time. An even handling of life—no matter what the universe flings at me.

The Franciscan Renewal Center "the Casa" is the place where I began to learn about how to find peace in the storm of pain, loss, uncertainty, and misinformed choices. I would make the 45-minute drive to Paradise Valley from south Phoenix and spend an afternoon—regardless of weather—walking the labyrinth, napping in the meditation chapel, and sometimes, crying.

It was a rough season; a time Franciscan priest Richard Rohr coined "falling upward" in his book with the same name. In it, he explains the task of the two halves of life and lovingly but pointedly explains that those who have fallen, failed, or "gone down" are the only ones who understand "up."

I'm not sure I completely understand "up" yet, but I believe I have a better grasp than I did in those days. Lately, it looks like realizing that my capacity to forgive others depends a good deal on my willingness to forgive myself. 

For privilege of being allowed to enjoy the Casa and for the gift of screwing up, I'm grateful.